Goodbye and thanks for all the turds!

Hey all. It's a me, Sergio! I know you missed me. I missed you, too.

Sucks not being around here as much as I used to. Unfortunately, there's been too much going on and I just haven't been able to sit around long enough to form cohesive thoughts for more than 140 characters. I've found that Twitter/Tumblr have been far better...wait...no...not better. That's not the right word. I think 'convenience' is key, here. yeah. They've been more convenient and allow me to get those quick bursts of brain doody out into the virtual world.

I guess it's obvious what I'm getting at. I simply will be leaving this section of the blogosphere and concentrating more on the microblogs. As much as I love Blogger and the freedom it allows, it's just not good to have this sitting here, collecting dust the way it has. I still have a lot to say, but I just don't have the time to sit around and type out essays every time. I'll still be babbling on, but in shorter, quicker bursts. I mean, it's not like I wasn't using those outlets before. I would come on here and type away for a while, but now that just isn't in me. Fortunately, tumblr seems to allow for good sized posts, so I don't have to hold back. And if you look over at the top right of this page, you'll see a twitter feed, so you can still check that out, but wouldn't it just be easier to follow me on there?

Ok, I'm not dragging this on any longer than I already have. Farewell for now! Don't think of it as me leaving for good, but more like me just moving into a cozier house across the street. Come on over and have a beer some time! My doors always open for you guys.

Twitter: @amonkeyonacid
Tumblr: http://sergioazevedo.tumblr.com/

Cheers!

Serge

This Whole iPhone 4 Thing...

...has gotten out of control. Now even a United States Senator is getting involved?!?! Uhg... Really, now. C'mon. This is just getting silly, people. Granted, he's doing the right thing for the consumer, but all he's doing is regurgitating what he read on some blog about the Consumer Reports decision to not recommend the iPhone even though they rate it highest of all smartphones! Hell, he probably didn't even read it. It was probably some intern schmo.

Ok, so it's obvious there's a hardware problem with the phone regarding the antennae and how holding it a certain way can affect the signal. We all know this. However, just how many of the 2+ million users are actually having this problem? As much as I would love to stare at this glorious piece of industrial design, I'm not dumb enough to go without a case/bumper. I would wager that no less than 80% of users are the same way. Everyone else is just an idiot. So now we have 20% of the userbase that MAY get this problem. I say MAY because there are plenty of people who, like myself, have really good service where they go - better in fact thanks to the phone's design - and don't have issues with the death grip. Let's say that knocks another 5% or so. Now we're at 15% who have the issue.

To those remaining few whining shits complaining about your phone...

GET A FUCKING CASE! YOU SHOULD HAVE ONE ANYWAY!

Ok, maybe you don't want a case. That's fine. When it comes down to it, you shouldn't be responsible for 'fixing' something you bought that was already broken. But you should still have one, anyway! Have you not seen the horrific images of shattered iPhones? Those images are just as impactful as starving children in Africa and mistreated animals in ASPCA commercials. Don't deny it. You know it's true. So, if you don't want a case, what should Apple do? Well, obviously, they should do the right thing! But just what is the right thing? A recall? Free bumpers? Hugs?

I have a feeling Apple will announce an update to the hardware and, possibly, a recall during their Friday iPhone conference. Personally, I don't really care since I don't have any issues, but, for those that do, I just hope Apple comes up with a solution that works so we can move on from this shit and save up for the next ubergizmadget from Cupertino.

I Miss My Car

Don't worry, she's not gone. She's just at the shop. However, being stuck without the car, when normally I'd have a loaner to rely on, just plain sucks. Needed some things done to her that would normally cost an arm and a leg at the dealer, so, instead, I took her to a buddy of mine at a competing dealership. I'm going to save something like 70%! I guess not having my car to rely on and possibly pissing off my boss by having to work from home and equally pissing off my sister for having to chauffeur me around is a small price to pay. It got me thinking about something else...

Do I get another vehicle? I've been thinking about getting a totally new car, but I've been happy not having a bloated car payment over my head for some time now. Also, since I'm trying to get a house, wouldn't it be nice to have a truck or pickup that can help take stuff to and from the house since I'll be at Home Depot and various other do-it-yourself-if-you-dare places? Plus, if it's a 4x4/awd it can help in the winter on those days where I can't drive my car. Sounds like a great idea, right? Well, it is! I just have to get a house, first. Can't exactly be adding another car to our parking lot. Maybe I can convince pops that he could use it anytime he wants? Hmm... we shall see.

Now I guess I gotta start looking at pickups which, let's be honest, I know nothing about. Single cab? Crew cab? Heavy duty? Light duty? Turbo? Diesel? Spray liner? AAAAARRGGGHHH!!!! This is gonna be fun.

Stay tuned.

A day with the iPhone 4 (Review)

It's June 23rd. A day before the latest and greatest iPhone is to be launch. I hear a knocking on the door. I peak out the window and who do I see? It's the FedEx guy aka Santa Claus! I run to the door, hoping he's delivering my shiny new iPhone 4 and not some shoes for my sister. I open the door, the FedEx smiles and guy hands me a box far too small to be a pair of shoes far too small even for my sister. I sign as quickly as I can, exchange some quick words with the FedEx guy regarding all of the early deliveries he's making for the new iPhones, and then run inside.

I slice through the packaging like Wolverine going into some poor schmuck's abdomen, and, instead of exposing guts, I see nothing but light! Ok, maybe it was just the glare of my bedroom light shining off the shrink-wrapping around the packaging. I examine the packaging; it's the usual minimalist, let-the-photos-do-the-work type of packaging that Apple is famous for. I find no problems with it (Phew!) and proceed to remove the contents. iPhone - check. Headphones, plug-in charger, USB chord - check. Instructions labeled 'Finger Tips' - check. All is familiar; all is well. A brisk five minutes later, my phone is activated and synced.

Alright, enough of this literary doody. Let's start the actual review! I won't waste much time overemphasizing anything. I'll try to be as straightforward regarding the features I've used throughtout the day. Vamos la!

Design

Once again, Jonathan Ive has worked his voodoo on a few basic materials and created a drool-worthy piece of industrial art. Flat glass on both sides, surrounded by a stainless steel band - a genius engineering feat which uses the band as an antennae covering all the separate signals (GSM, Bluetooth, WiFi, etc.)! A simple design that manages to invoke a level of sophistication worthy of the 'next' iPhone. It's thinner than previous iPhones, yet manages to feel sturdier and more substantial. It's a little harder to figure out which side is which when it's in your pocket, but that's pretty minor. I tend to always put the screen towards me, so it's not a big deal. It just looks like how a smartphone should; smart.

Retina Display

When you first turn on the iPhone, you'll immediately notice the superior quality and clarity of this screen. It's so sharp and crisp that it made my funny bits tingle. I'm serious. It makes my 1920x1200 resolution MacBook Pro screen look so outdated it might as well be a glorified Speak 'N Spell! Text looks like pure ink. Photos look beautiful. The one drawback? App icons NOT optimized for the higher resolution look bad. I mean REALLY bad. They're more pixelated than Mai Shiranui's 'bouncies' from the original Fatal Fury. Fortunately, developers are quickly updating their apps, which include the icons.

Speed

Snappy. Snappy. Snappy. This thing responds better than I could have hoped. Don't buy into what Wired is saying. It's definitely faster than my iPad in terms of clicking around and accessing apps. I couldn't believe how quickly this thing went through the process of opening the camera app, setting up, snapping a photo and saving it; it took less time to do all of that than my 3G took to just OPEN the Camera app! It's THAT fast.

Folders

I'm sure you're wondering, "Why the fuck are you reviewing this before Multitasking?" Well, Chachie, it's because I got to use this on my iPhone 3G for a couple days, first. Just bare with me for a minute. Since multitasking wasn't available for the 3G, folders were the next best feature. Talk about organization! I had 10 pages of apps going, constantly moving things around to match up and fumbling through pages, forgetting which had all my games and which had all my fart apps. With folders you simply drag and drop icons on top of eachother and iOS does the rest! It names the folders for you (you do have the option to name them whatever you want) and all you have to do is place 'em where you want 'em. I get why Apple limited the number of apps you can put in each folder, but, still, I'd rather be able to put ALL my games in one folder instead of Games and Games2.

Multitasking

Ok, here it is. Happy? Here's my take on this wonderful, yet slightly awkward feature. Multitasking, the way it's set up to work in iOS, makes this phone feel more like a Mac than ever before, which is a very good thing, yet, also a slightly not so good thing. Let me explain... On a Mac, when you open a program and then close a window, the program stays open with just a small indicator in the dock letting you know that it's still running. You then have to 'quit' the program for it to actually close. Not a big deal. You can either right click and choose quit or select the program and hit cmd-Q. Options. They're wonerful, aren't they? On the iPhone, it's a little different.

Before iOS 4, whenever you closed out of an app it just closed, unless it was the iPod or Mail. With iOS 4, every single time you launch an app - be it Settings or Weather or Pandora - if they need to run in the background, they will. That's a good thing, right? Well, yes and no. You see, it's one thing if you want Pandora running while you surf the web or check your email, but, if you're not careful, you can end up with a crapload of apps in the background, though not all are necessarily running. It does make it a pain when you try to switch between apps and you have to scroll through them all. Every time you go back to the home screen, these apps will still be available in the fast-switch screen. So how do you close 'em? Well, you have to double-tap the home button to launch the fast-switch screen, hold down on one of the icons until the close symbols appear and close whichever apps you want. It's pretty straightforward, but why isn't there a way to just quit out of an app while I'm in it? I guess it wouldn't be good user experience to lose screen real estate to close buttons and whatnot, but it's a little annoying having all these apps running in the background both unnecessarily and unintentionally.

I guess it can be seen as a minor gripe, but, with my OCD, it's a pain! Still, it's super helpful and exactly what most of us have screamed for!

Camera & Video

I skipped the 3GS, so I didn't know the wonders of the zooming, auto-focusing, movie-making joy it had. Well, I can't speak for the 3GS, but what I found built-into the iPhone 4 was something special (special in the world of cell phone cameras, anyway). The auto-focus is wonderful and chooses great spots depending on the cameras positioning to your subject. Choosing your own focal points are done with a simple tap and the camera responds super quick. You can easily swap to the front-facing camera, but it tends to be a bit grainy. The pictures, when taken in the right conditions, are beautiful and look as if they were produced with something packing more than 5MP. I'm sure the number whores may balk at the 5MP spec, but Apple isn't stupid. Instead of throwing in a higher MP camera, they focused on the internal software/firmware that handled the photos and made that better instead, which, in my opinion, was the better way to go. Photos come out super clear, albeit with a slightly high white balance, but nothing that would really ruin the shots.




Check out that depth!

The flash is a nice addition, but it's a bit bright. I still have the plastic on the back which, unfortunately, covers the flash making it wash everything out so until I get a proper cover, I'll stay away from that.

Video is excellent. It shoots pretty smoothly at 720p 30fps. Taking a video and editing it with simple trim commands is quick and intuitive, which I'm sure is about the same as it was with the 3GS. I'm not much of a video guy, so, if you wanna see video examples, just Google it. I ain't Fellini, but I'll be picking up iMovie when it's available. Speaking of video...

FaceTime

Here's a feature that is pretty damn cool to use. I don't generally use my webcam, but I would definitely use video calling. It's not that I necessarily want to see who I'm talking to, but the ability to call someone and stream video of family members or silly shit my friends are doing are always fun to pass around and are better conveyed through video. There are other benefits to this, but I know your imaginations are good enough to figure those out on your own.

It'd be nice of AT&T had a good enough network to allow this on 3G, but, alas, it can only be done through WiFi. Maybe that's a good thing. Do I really need to be around a bunch of people talking AT their phones to equally uninteresting people? Nope. It's still fun, though.

Mail

Multiple Exchange accounts and threading. 'Nuff said.

Gyroscope

Still waiting for some apps that'll really take advantage of this. Maybe Apple will put out like iJenga or something. Gonna have to wait, but I'm excited to see what developers come up with!

Wallpapers

I'm a wallpaper whore. I change my desktop screens virtually on a daily basis. My iPad, which came with the multi-wallpaper functionality, has been put through it's paces and made me want the ability to do the same with my iPhone since day one. I was a little let down that I couldn't do that with iOS 4 on my 3G, so I was gonna have to wait before I could subject an iPhone to my wallpaper-changing ways. This is one of those features that isn't a game-changer, but it's a welcome aesthetic. I'm one of those people who believe a wallpaper shouldn't detract from programs and whatnot, so I tend to use clean imagery that isn't terribly bright or has a lot going on. I was ok with the plain, black background on the iPhone, but it's nice to add some color to it. It's not like the 'live' wallpapers found on certain other phones, but I find that really gimmicky and nothing more than battery-drainers. fine if you liek it, but, personally, I couldn't care less.

Apple included some new wallpapers ranging from outdoor photos to textures and patterns. They did a good job in giving you obvious choices for the lock and home screens. Again, less 'active' imagery for the home screens work best since you can't see too much behind the apps.

Battery

Just like when I got my iPad and ran it through some 'heavy' use, the new iPhone is no different. I've gone all day without charging it (outside of the initial activation) and I'm nowhere near the halfway point. I didn't even plug it into the car adapter on the way home; I actually listened to the radio! I had wifi running with numerous apps in the background. Taking photos and video. Surfing the web. A FaceTime call. Still going strong!

Final Thoughts

There are a ton of other features - large and small - strewn about iOS4 that I don't have the strength in my hands to write about. You'll just have to find them yourself. I promise you, though, for the most part, everything is a necessity and you will be glad that what's there is there, even if you don't necessarily NEED it. Apple put a lot of effort into covering as many bases as they can. Honestly, the only thing that's holding this thing back from being perfect is AT&T. I didn't bother covering that part because, well, let's face it, everyone has their opinion on them. Service is fine for me - I even noticed slightly better reception in some spots - but still shitty where I sit at work. You'd think these jackasses would put some repeaters in the building considering the fact that they're providing these to employees! I guess not enough people have complained, yet.

Anyway... With the exception of AT&T's shortcomings, the iPhone 4, in my opinion, is simply a great phone that nothing out there can really touch. From build quality to software, the phone just screams perfection and shows why sometimes having control over what you produce isn't necessarily a bad thing. This is what the iPhone should have been since day one. It's taken a few years, but it's finally here, and looking back, Apple made the right decisions to let the product evolution take its course rather than shoe-horn features and technology into a plastic case because it looks good on paper, which, sad to say, is what all of their competitors basically do. If only they tried copying Apples' philosophies instead of just their designs. Oh, to think of what could have been...

Cheers!

I got iOS 4. Now all I need is the phone.

After a few attempts at work, I finally let my iPhone sit by itself, at home, and installed iOS 4. I gotta say, though I'm using a 3G and missing some new features (multitasking, wallpapers), the features that were added are a VERY welcome addition. The first thing I noticed was the change to the dock where the main 4 icons reside. It now looks like that of OS X and is a fresh change over that tired looking patterned aluminum dock. Folders have already dropped my cluttered 10 pages of unorganized apps to 2! Email threading is wonderful. I no longer have to delete emails from webmail before downloading to the phone, saving just the most recent one (why isn't this in Apples Mail client?????).

The phone isn't any faster. In fact, it was a bit choppy at first, but after a few minutes of use it got back to normal. It'd be nice to have the multitasking there and the ability to have a wallpaper depicting a naked female doing naughty things with fruits and vegetables in the background, but I guess I'll just have to wait another day. Speaking of which...

Got yet another notification from Apple saying that my iPhone will arrive on the 23rd (instead of the 24th)! Here's to hoping they won't decide to hold all shipments until launch. I think that wouldn't make much sense. Considering how many people will be buying and activating phones on launch day, it wouldn't make a whole lot of sense to add all the preorders and tempt another AT&T server debacle like what happened on 6.15. No, I doubt they'll hold shipments. Shit, I'll drive to the FedEx hub holding my iPhone hostage and raise some hell! Portugal scored 7 goals and I got enough adrenaline still in me from that to cause a real shitfest for 'em if need be!

Holy crip, it's a crapple!

Damn! Almost a mon...wait a tick...it's been OVER a month! Time sure flies when you procrastinate. I hate having to repeat myself, but, yes, still busy. Still plugging away. A lot going on this summer/year and it's tough sitting down to write about it. Sometimes I feel that taking the time out to write about certain events/bullshituations™ is just annoying and taking my time away from more pressing tasks. Sometimes I'm just fucking lazy. More often than not, the latter prevails.

I think an easy way to blast through what's happened over the last month would be to just quickly bullet them out. Maybe I'll elaborate. Maybe I won't. Either way, you'll get your fill and satisfy that craving of nosiness that's been building up to near uncontrollable levels. Ok, so, here goes...

• People at work still don't shower.
• I skipped out on a bill without intending to do so.
• Whole Foods is a fucking rip-off, but their beer section is amazing!
• House hunting still sucks a dirty banana.
• Reconnecting with old friends is always fun.
• I get to be a best man, again!
• Haven't played any golf since the last time I played.
• I preordered an iPhone 4 and got it in just before the AT&T system custerfuck.
• Portugal ain't showing much at the WC, so far.
• I still get gas at BP.
• Forgot to send a reply to my cousin's wedding. I'm going.
• E3 rocked, this year! Lots of good games - Mr. Jaffe is a sneaky sumbitch!
• I tweet too much, but not as much as Drunk Hulk.
• I've started a coffee delivery service.

Umm... That's all I can remember right now. Ok, so a few things have happened that could probably use some explanation. Maybe I'll get to it at some point. As for now, I leave you with the following:

"In Okinawa, belt mean no need rope to hold up pants."

Think about it.

Lata!

Changes?!? What? NO!

Gonna be doing something a little different, pretty soon. Well, different for me anyway. I'm thinking about adding some video blogs. I know the last thing anyone needs is to see my ugly mug on here, but talking is easier than typing. The only problem? No delete button when talking. When I type this crap out, I get to pause and rethink what I just wrote and change it on the fly. When you're talking shit out, well, it's a bit different and you can't keep re-recording yourself. That's just stupid.

Right now I'm really just trying to think of whether or not I really wanna go into the video thing and then just what the hell would I talk about? What topics can I ramble on about for a couple minutes at a time? There are a few I can name off the top of my head, but there needs to be a point. Also, I don't wanna just hit the record button and talk about nonsense. Unless, of course, the nonsense has a chance to make some laughs come out of your ass.

All I need to do now is...well...fucking do it!

Burnt out but plugging away!

Sssssssssiiiiiiiiiggggggghhhhhhhhhhhh....

Bet you thought I'd never come back, huh? Well, sorry to disappoint. Haven't really had a whole lot going on so there hasn't been much to say. Actually, that's not entirely true. There's plenty to say, but I know when to say when. Some things should just be held in check and saved for a later day.

I've been so busy with work and fighting some random unhealthy mental state that I realized the things I wanted to say and do were merely a byproduct of the mental unrest and wouldn't have been said in earnest. Rather, they would have been mere nonsensical outbursts meant to fill a void created by a lack of motivation to make any fucking contribution of worth.

Ok. Let me reread what I write before I go on. Hmmm...mhmm....k...alright....good. That made some sense so I don't gotta change anything.

Truth is, I just need a vacation. Not from work. Not from friends and family. Not from Call of Duty. I need a vacation from the world! I can just feel how everything that's going on around me is having some effect whether big or small on my current state of being. Unfortunately it feels like there's more bad than good and that's never a good thing. I'm a pessimist and a skeptic. I speak the language of sarcasm and roll facetiousness from my tongue like a cursing Frenchman (thanks Matrix!). No, I'm not that way because of how I feel. I'm that way because I can spin it into humor and those who know me just get it. I never speak with malice. There's nothing underlying my tone. It's just what I know.

Since there's no way to avoid the world, I had an idea of how to get away for a certain amount of time and not be bothered by anything... A medically-induced coma! Seriously. How has no one thought of this before? You can just get knocked out for any amount of time and just ddrreeaaammm. You'd have no worries. No stress. Well, maybe some. There is the possibility of having a prolonged nightmare, but that comes with the territory. You could be under for a couple days and come out feeling lime it was a lifetime. The again you could also come out after a month and feel like it was an hour. That would suck. Again, a small risk to take for the benefit of ones own sanity.

Fear not, reader. I have no plans of doing something that ridiculous. To be honest, I really just wanted to see how odd that idea would sound when read aloud. Yep. It's fucking weird. Come to think of it, it's pretty Total Recall-ish. Shit. Someone did think about it, already! Fuck me. I can't win. Guess I'll stick to wine.

Smell ya's lata!

Sorry. All I got is this...

d:-)

Stoopid allergies!

Woke up yesterday morning with red eyes, sore throat and a stuffed-up nose. That's what I get for actually thinking I was gonna be the only one not fucked by the pollen. Stupid me, right? Needless to say, I didn't go to work. I just knew I'd sit there at my desk and just be useless and miserable all day. Not worth it. I'd rather just sit at my desk and be useless, but happy. I did venture out for a bit to get my car washed. She looked so lovely, but this morning she was covered in a fine, yellow, dust-like coating. Some call it pollen. I call it disappointment. I knew it'd happen, but she needed to get cleaned badly. Started to look like a used-up hooker who didn't give her pimp his cut.

Too...effing...busy...

I was trying real damn hard to keep up with this blogging crap, but, everything got in the way. It would be a lot easier if this shit was tied into my brain and I could just post with a thought. Oh, future. Where art thou???

So, I made it out to the Photoshop Down & Dirty Tricks seminar at the Javits Center, last Friday. Very fun and informative. Or is informative and fun? I forgot. Either way, it was good. Dave Cross just knows how to communicate all the wonderful Photoshop goodness and I didn't fall asleep once. Honest! I didn't really learn much that I didn't already know, but I got a lot of good ideas on how to make my work process more efficient. Don't get me wrong, I'm not saying that I know EVERYTHING about Photoshop (though I have been using it for over 10 years), there were a few things I didn't know before, but, for the most part, I was getting different ways of doing things I already do. The best parts had to be where he showcased some features in the upcoming CS5 release. Let me tell you. If you use Photoshop, you have to upgrade! There are some things they've added that will save you TONS of time. I'm not gonna spend the whole time talking about 'em, but if you really want to know (and you should!) check out the features here. Looks like I'll have to borrow my friend's educational credentials very soon. d:-)

One thing I definitely learned that day is that I don't ever want to have a daily commute into the city. I took a pretty easy train schedule - 750am and 522pm - and it was still a pain in the ass. First of all, it was expensive. Cost me about $40 which, if you add that up on a weekly basis, we're talking about $200 PER WEEK! Granted, I had to buy one-ways because I fucked up in the morning not knowing that you can't buy round-trips during peak rush hour. That's a really fucking stupid rule, but, whatever. Second, it's fucking booorrriiiiinnnggggg! On the way in I tried killing time by watching Zombieland on my iPad, but I found myself skipping just because I felt so damn antsy. At least if I was driving I'd have been moving around and alert. Instead, I just wanted to jump out of the fucking train! On the way back I took a nap, which felt nice. I had a cute Asian chick sitting in front of me, but she was pregnant and that just grosses me out. I am totally incapable of finding a pregnant girl desirable. Sorry, but that's just how I am.

Ended up getting picked-up by my buddy at Wyandanch and met up with other friends at The Grill Room. Nice place. Good vibe. Good music. Good food, too! Had me a 14oz NY Strip. Ooohhh momma!!! Shit was nice and cooked perfectly. Oh, and there was a man-faced hooker there, too. Turned out to be my friend's coworker. Her actions led to some laughter at her expensive. Gotta love stupid, drunk whores - even if they do have a man-face!

Not much else happened over the weekend. Did some work n whatnot. Played golf on Sunday over at Heatherwood. Did ok on the front with a 36, but totally shit the bed on the back nine with a 45. Wait. Did I say 'shit the bed'? No, that was more like 'flaming diarrhea and acid blood from Alien mixed with the video of a puppy dying'. Yeah, that's how bad it was. I need to get to the range. Nothing felt right, even when I was playing ok.

This week is shaping up to be pretty good. My buddy got tickets for the Mets game this Wednesday BEHIND HOME PLATE!!! yeah, I'm psyched for that one! Then, on Friday, my friend is spinning at my favorite fucking restaurant, HONU. Don & Ginger's all night, baby! Wait, wasn't I supposed to be saving money, right now? Dammit. Ok. Don & Ginger's paid for by everyone else all night! d;-)

c ya when I c ya.

- S

Take my blood, but not my...blood?

Went and had a blood test done, this morning. Yes. ANOTHER ONE. I actually put this one on hold for some time. Just been too gosh darn busy, lately. That, and, getting up at 6am sucks moose balls. Nothing eventful. No needles broke, sending streams of pulsating, red, viscous liquid everywhere. Though, I think a little kid crapped her pants. It sure smelled like it. There were a few older people in there. Maybe it was one of them. I don't really know, but I know the smell of soiled drawers, and someone sure as hell needs to take a trip to the cleaners. Wow, even when I don't talk about MY shit, someone else's shit somehow seems to sneak into a post. It's unavoidable, ladies and gentlemen. Deal with it.

I started adding the Spartacus Workout to my weekly health routine. Lemme just tell you that I had trouble just trying to get off the friggin' toilet bowl a day after the first routine. Sonofabitch, it's tough! If you don't know what it is, check it out here. It's a circuit of 10 exercises, each done for a minute. Being the pansy that I am, I'm just gonna ease it into my workouts and do one set instead of 3. I'll work my way up to that (I don't wanna vomit on the gym floor just yet). If the pain is any indication of success, this thing is a winner! Guess I'm just not used to these types of routines, yet. I've always just been more of a basic workout kinda guy. You know; lift this, lift that. I got a good feeling that this will help fill in the gap that's kept me from really progressing. Not that I'm looking to show up to work with no shirt on or anything, but to at least look in the mirror and actually NOTICE a difference, which in turn would mean I'm getting healthier as well.

Speaking of health... Can I just say that these last two months are the best I've felt in the last 2 YEARS! I'm knocking on every piece of wood I can, believe me. Seriously, I think Lent had a big part of it. That's both good and bad. Good because I have a better idea of what I should keep my diet as, but bad because no man should ever look at red meat and say "FUCK YOU!". It's just not right. Can you believe that I got mad that I saw red meat on my dinner plate last night? What the fuck is wrong with this picture? This is gonna take some getting used to.

Oh, almost forgot. Tomorrow I'll get to not only experience commuting into NYC during rush hour, but I'll get to put the iPad to some use outside of the confines of my room. I'm going to the Javits Center for a Photoshop seminar which should be very cool. I'm hoping that Mr. David Cross decides to give us a treat and show off some CS5 wonderment! That would make it sssoooooo fucking worth the travel. Can you believe my boss actually WANTS me to go to these things? I love my job. Sometimes. Not sure if I'll be hanging out there afterwards or if I'm coming straight home. Who knows. Might as well play it by ear. Hey, maybe I'll do a Apple store tour? I actually haven't been to a single one in the city. Yes, that's right. Not a single one! Another thing on the list I need to do. Fucking thing just doesn't get any shorter.

Stay awesome or stay down, fuckers!

- S

Oh, Rangers. How you suck!

Dammit. Dammit. DAMMIT! C'mon, Torts! WTF were you thinking??? How could you not use your top guys in the shootout? What a fucking jackass. Seriously. I knew the outcome of the game before it even started. That pregame interview with Sam totally gave it away. When he started talking about how loose and calm the team was, that told me that they were going to get shit on by the Flyers who were feeling the pressure. How could anyone go into that game and NOT be pressured? Uhg... Well, whatever. With the Rangers out of the playoff picture, I have no reason to watch any hockey until September. Time to focus on golf. Speaking of which...


Go, PHIL!!! What a great final round of The Masters. Phil stormed back and took advantage of Westwood's mistakes. And how about Tiger? He was in the woods more than I am! Still, 4th place ain't bad, even if he WAS bitching about it. Grow up, douchebag. You can't win 'em all, ya know? Just be grateful you can still play and that the fans are still behind you. Personally, I don't care if he wins or not. I acknowledge his skill and what he means to golf, but I'm a Phil fan, so the more he screws up and gives Phil the chances he needs to jump ahead then that's good enough for me!

"It's part of business."

Ever heard that one, before? I'm sure you have. It's almost always heard during shitty times, like, you know, when layoffs happen? Yeah, that happened this week. The company I work for decided that, as part of their business strategy, they were going to use the typical cost-cutting bullshit method of reducing headcount. Quite a few people globally started being let-go and my group didn't escape the chopping block unscathed.

Sadly, some really good people who were both colleagues and friends had to go. Some of which had been with the company a decade! You really have to stop and wonder why some people are let go and others stay. Who makes the decisions and what are they based on? I can tell you it didn't have anything to do with how hard a person worked, their time with the company or their skills. If that were the case, then things would have been completely fucking different. Just ONE of the people who got let go could do the jobs of 2 or more people in a certain department that somehow managed to go untouched. I could go deeper into it, but whats the point? it's not going to change anything. A leopard can't change it's spots...

It just sucks knowing how, in this economy, people are being forced out, left and right, with no chance to prepare and are handed a meager severance, a handshake and a "Good luck", spoken through a serpent's smile. Yeah, that's gonna help pay the mortgage. But, I guess it's just a art of business, right?

Damn Distractions!

Between the iPad, GOW3, Easter and work, I actually went nearly 3 days without a fucking post! Well, I got a few free minutes while I wait on some jackasses to get their shit together so, let's have at it!

I already posted enough about the iPad. Needless to say, I'm in love withe the damn thing and SketchBook Pro from Autodesk is the tits!!! I'll post some of the work I've done with it, soon. I brought the iPad into work, yesterday, and it got plenty of 'ooohs' and 'aaahs'. I bet there'll be a few more purchases on the way. One thing that having it in the office really showed me was how bad I need a case for it. Not so much for holding it, but for traveling with it. The thought of my naked iPad bouncing around inside my computer bag, totally exposed, really unnerved me. That'll be remedied later today with a quick run to the Apple store.

Ok, enough iLove. Onto GOW3. Wow. Um. Yeah, just wow! 3 years of waiting (and an extra couple weeks) was well worth it! What an incredible game. The look. The sound. The carnage! Oh, the carnage!!! I haven't played a game in quite a while that satisfied my subconscious, violent urges as GOW3 did. All of the classic features were intact: chain blades, quicktime kills, sex mini games...you name it. It's all there, only better. My favorite update (besides the obvious graphical overhaul) has to be with the quicktime events. One thing that always bothered me about these is that they tend to obscure what's actually happening on screen. I don't want to miss the action because I have to pay so close attention to the commands (I'm looking at you, Heavenly Sword!). The GOW team came up with a subtle, yet very effective solution to this. Instead of putting the buttons mid-screen, they use the sides of the screens (top, right, bottom, left) and use the corresponding buttons of the control pads placement. In other words, X=bottom so it only shows up on the bottom of the screen. That way, you can look directly at the action and respond to peripheral commands. Simple, yet GENIUS! Why didn't anyone think of that before?

There's an amazingly simple, yet poignant and artsy event that takes place just before you unmercifully rip Helios' head off, and happened to be left off of the demo which made it a wonderful surprise. I don't want to spoil it, but it involves blocking a light with your hand. It's actually a pretty beautiful scene, but, unfortunately, there aren't too many scenarios like this in the game. However, this is a game filled with violence and based on a violent story, so, it's understandable. The boss battles are very cool, and there are some surprises, especially when you realize who the voice actors are. Very slick, Sig!

If I had any real issues with the game, it had to do with the end. It kind of goes off in an odd direction and almost feels like it starts to overstay its welcome, a bit. Again, I don't want to spoil anything, but it involves a lot of 'wandering in darkness'. Even the very last scene kind of just 'happens' and it's somewhat abrupt. Maybe that's just me being a big fan of the series not wanting to see actual end, ya know? I will say that it is fitting and, for the most part, satisfying. I kind of want to go back in and play just to bash the shit out of people with the Nemean Cestus! I just can't stop saying, in a Russian accent, "I must break you!" before each skirmish. Good, guilty fun. Get this game. It's worth it!

Uhg, what else is there? Oh, Easter. Gotta talk about Easter. Well, actually, I don't have to since not much happened. Had lunch with the family at the Portuguese Clube. Food, wine and laughs. That's pretty much business as usual at one of those gatherings. Oddly enough, being that Lent ended, I actually didn't touch red meat, chocolate or ice cream! Imagine that? Me, free of the shackles that held me back for over a month, and I didn't even SEEK OUT the treasures I so deserved! Maybe that's a good thing. I did lose 7lbs, which I intend to keep off. Guess I gotta stay on the wagon as long as I can.

You stay awesome, intarWebbz!

- S

I'm so weak, but happy!

Before you say anything, fuck off! I got my iPad and that's that. I ended up going to Best Buy this morning just to see the crowd. There wasn't one. Well, not a HUGE one anyway. That's expected being that the BB push isn't really until the 11th, but stores that have the Apple section in them have a certain amount each for today. I walked straight towards that section and there were already a couple people checking 'em out. As soon as I picked one up I instantly fell in love. It really is something you need to hold in your hands and look upon in person to really understand how beautiful this thing is. I made my decision then and there that I wasn't leaving the store without one. I didn't wanna bother with the lines at the actual Apple store at Smithaven.

I headed over to the 8-person-deep line by the Geek Squad department - Who else would you have securing this product? Hah! - and waited a couple minutes. I held back from interjecting into a conversation two mouth-breathers were having about Macs in their total combined 6 years of experience with them. I figured it wasn't worth it. I just wanted my damn iPad and stick it down my pants tout suite! Got to the counter, had a chat with the clerk who apparently really wanted one, but was sure they'd sell out before he could get a chance to purchase one. After feigning sympathy, and completing the transaction, I decided that I should pick up GOW3 while I was there. Fuck it, right? Why not?

After walking out of the store, iPad in hand, I noticed the sun was shining brighter and the air smelled of sweet purity like I've never known. Was it the iPad? I think so. That's just how magical it is! I'm sure of it! I think I even saw a couple birds give me a thumbs up. In fact, I was in such a good mood that I decided to head over to the Apple store anyway. Call it morbid curiosity. Call it me being bored. But I just had to go. Besides, I needed a new phone case. That's as good enough a reason as any, right?

Right when I walked into the Mall, near the Macy's entrance, two people were walking out, iPads in hand. I asked them how the line was and they said there wasn't one. Really? No fucking way! That's not possible. It's the iPad launch! I told them BB was the same and they showed equal surprise, though, I doubt they were cursing out my mother in their minds as badly as I was doing to theirs in mine. That's just what I do when I talk to strangers. So I made my way over and there were plenty of guides setup, but no line. However, the close I got, the louder the buzz became. You just couldn't ignore the overall feeling and sounds of amazement coming from the store.

When I got to the entrance, a lovely, nose-ring adorned employee greeted me and asked if I was looking for an iPad. I said, "No. I cheated and got one at BB. I just need an iPhone case." She kind of looked at me funny and said something, but all I wanted to do was rip the ring out of her nose. I don't hate nose-rings. I just thought she was too cute to have one, but I digress. Another employee unnecessarily spoke to me about the cases, but I just wanted to revel in the crowd; looking at the smiles and lit-up faces on everyone fondling the iPads. It was like a petting zoo, but with better animals.

I left the store and went straight home. All I wanted to do was play with this thing. Oh, I forgot to mention that I'm typing this all out on my iPad. It's not difficult to type long entries at all. Well, as long as it's not flat. That can be a pain, but placing it on your lap, on an angle, works extremely well. Some quick things I'll note:

Like
• VERY snappy. Things move and happen smoothly and quickly.
• Keyboard is easy to use. You can type in portrait mode with both thumbs ala iPhone typing.
• HD screen is gorgeous. Everything looks so crisp.
• Resists smudges. You can actually clean smudges WITH your fingers!

Dislike
• Synching seems to be slow to initialize. Quick when it actually gets started. Maybe just an iTunes issue.
• No USB. I guess that's minor, but it'd be nice to access files that way without constantly synching.
• Mail takes a while to setup. Stupid verification screen!

So, that's really it. I haven't gotten to do much with apps. Just tested some out, but haven't purchased any iPad specific ones but I did get a couple free ones (NYT is bueno). After I use this some more I'm sure I'll have more to love about it and more gripes, too. Stay tuned!

- S

The iPad Cometh

Oh, iPad. You shiny, gleaming, wonderous, polar icecap-saving, God-defining, tastes like chocolate and awesomeness, piece of technology birthed from the mating of Steve Jobs and a unicorn. How you call for my attention...and wallet.

So, we're here. The wait is over. The iPad is available for purchase. Can you feel the shift in the Earth's magnetic field? I can. It makes my weenie tingle. Now all that's left is to decide whether to buy one now or later? I'm still on the fence and that fence is pretty sharp. It's just begging me to jump off and pick a side before I get a second crack in my ass. I know what you're thinking: "Surely, you can't really expect us to believe you'd wait to buy one?" I can't deny that there's a really strong possibility that I'll be at the Smithaven Mall Apple Store tomorrow morning, waiting in line with the other drooling Apple fanboys. I was able to hold back with both iPhone launches, but there's just something about the iPad.

I can't quite put my finger on it. Maybe it has to do with the possibilities that the iPhone created and begged for? You know, like, how the only thing better than an iPhone is a BIG iPhone? I've tooled around with quite a few apps in different categories like productivity (don't laugh!), games, entertainment, etc. but, the prospect of using these on a bigger screen with the ease and intuitive touch screen interfacemeltingness just makes me wanna do a happy dance! I've been around long enough to know to stay away from first gen, but how can I do that now? It's the iPad! How much more can they change to it that can't be fixed with software? Ok. Ok. Software won't make it widescreen (maybe) or add a forward-facing camera. So what? Three generations of iPhones have gone by without similar features (and others), and we're all still here. Still complaining, too.

eBook reader. Art canvas. Game console. How can you beat it? Well, I'll tell you how. You make another one a year later, which is exactly what Apple will do. However, I am not waiting a fucking year! Either I plunk the money down on 4.1.10 or I do it on 12.1.10. What's the fucking difference? Maybe from a money perspective it's best to save a few ducets right now. Perhaps I should wait to get another side job out of the way to pay for it. Or maybe get it and it'll push me to get another side job sooner. Or maybe I should beat up a little kid and take his/hers. Uhg... decisions, decisions.

What's a guy to do? What can actually happen, in a beneficial way, if I wait? Could the price actually (gasp!) DROP? I doubt it. This is not a subsidized product like the iPhone. No one else is giving Apple money to sell this product and the parts, for the most part, are a result of everything already being miniaturized for the phones and laptops and they haven't changed all that much, price-wise. I think Apple wants to avoid another hiccup like what happened with the first iPhone. Hardware-wise, this iPad will not change for at least a year, and even then what the fuck could they really do? Actually, that's a dumb question. They could do A LOT. Never underestimate the power of Apple and it's flock of vocal sheep (myself included).

I wonder how my opinion will change when I'm molesting the shiny, glass surface of an iPad in the store. I have to at least do that before I can make a decision. Fucking hell this is going to be tough.

Stay tuned to find out what happens. WIll I or Won't I? Heh...

Oh, and Happy Easter!

- S

Crazy fuckin' dreams, I tell ya!

This whole week I've been having a lot of trouble sleeping. I'm really not sure why. Is it because there's a lot on my mind? Too much energy at night from working out? Anticipation for the return of SG:U? Who knows? One thing's for sure, in the short amount of sleep I do get, I've been having some weird ass dreams! For instance, let's take last nights winner for 'Most Fucked-Up And Unbelievably Weird Dream That Has To Be Made Into A Movie'. Some of it is a little foggy, but that may be a good thing. What I can tell you for sure is it was an amalgamation of things that happened or I saw over the last couple weeks. Very odd how it all came together.

I remember it started with me sitting at home, eating dinner with the family. My dog was running around with something in it's mouth. It was some kind of egg. I took the egg and all of a sudden we got attacked by a raptor. Yes. A fucking raptor. We ran, but, like in most dreams, I couldn't run and so I had to shoot it with a squirt gun. The raptor melted and then, in a British voice, it said, "You shouldn't do that!" That's it. That's all it said. Then, somehow, I was magically transported to Tony Stark's house. I saw him chasing around Peper Potts with one of those extendable arm thingies that old people use to reach stuff. I walked over and had some kind of conversation with them, all the while referring to them as "Rob" and "Pal". They didn't like that. I don't remember the conversation, but Hugh Jackman walked in and tore the place up.

I woke up for a few seconds and was kind of pissed, as one would be when they had a chance to watch Wolverine kill Iron Man. Anyway, I fell back asleep and I had one of the dreams I hate the most, which is being stranded in the middle of the fucking ocean. Don't ask me why, but every now and again I get a dream involving the ocean. This time it was me and my buddy Matt just standing there on a little sandbar, completely surrounded by water on all sides. I remember saying something to him about how the water was gonna rise the closer nightfall came. Just like that, a fishing boat arrived and saved us. The dream then switched to Sea World where I was playing a concert in Shamu Stadium with Dream Theater and motherfucking Sham was singing! But, when I went backstage, I saw Harland Williams squealing into a microphone. I was pissed and started yelling that Shamu was lip synching.

The dream switched again and I was surrounded by co-workers, old and new. Not sure where we were, but it was definitely at someone's house that I didn't recognize. Everyone seemed to know eachother and I couldn't understand why. I somehow ended up in the garage and in there was a silver Ferrari F430 Spyder with a bow and my name on it. I picked up the card and it read "All yours. - Steve." I'm like "Who the fuck is Steve?" As soon as I say that, out from the trunk pops up a man in a black turtleneck and Levi's 501 jeans shouting, "ME, BUG FUCKER! STEVE JOBS!"

I woke up as soon as that happened. I was pissed. Again. Steve Jobs gave me a Ferrari. Who the fuck would be happy waking up and finding out that was a dream? Uhg...

Still no God of War 3?!?!

I know. I know. What the fuck is wrong with me??? Listen, I've had to be good. I gots work to do and I told myself I would not pick up the game until I was done. If I got the game then I'd be way behind and kicking myself in the ass. Seriously. By being responsible I get the money, a portfolio piece, a happy client and THEN the game! I can only win by doing the right thing. Don't get me wrong, this shit is tough! It's like giving up red meat for Lent (which I'm doing, but I've cheated once or thrice).

Speaking of Lent... I've been pretty surprised with myself. I've been able to [mostly] stay on course. I tend to pick multiple things because it poses more of a challenge and I use it to pick at least one thing I should really give up or cut down on. I don't know what Lent really is, but it's a great springboard for change! Ya know what? I'm gonna go look it up on the Googles, right now!

Ok, maybe not at this exact moment, but soon. Just want to mention an odd little thing I saw today. While I was walking out of the cafeteria, I walked by the center salad station. It's bookended by a soup station and a dessert station. I noticed someone at the dessert station taking a piece of chocolate cake and putting it on their tray. No big deal, right? But right after, he actually scraped chocolate off of the plate the cake was on. Now, at home I'll do that, but only if there's a lot on there. This guy was scraping NOTHING! Let's put it this way, it was such a thin amount that if it were COKE, certain people I know probably wouldn't have even bothered! I don't know why, but it just bothered me. Just how much do you have to love chocolate cake that you had to have that last quarter gram of cakey residue? Just take the fucking plate with you and lick the bitch when your done!

Sigh... I'm starting to think that maybe it bothers me because I gave up chocolate for Lent. Yeah. That's probably it. I'll be eating an entire one of these motherfuckers, come Easter! Oh, yeah! Move, bitches! That bunny is MINE!

Chokeslammin' good time!

In my previous post I made a mention of some shenaningans that took place over the weekend. Allow me to explain...

Friday night, starting around 830, my buddy kept texting me to come out 'n have drinks. I was on the fnece about going. I had work to do and wanted to be clear-headed the next day. I said I may go, but not definite. After 39227 txts, at 1030 he said, "It's me and 7 girls. Come down!" So, naturally. I did.

Met up with my friend, his fiance and her lovely friends (all nurses, too!) at the usual spot, Down Port. Had a couple mojitos. Then went off to Danford's. I couldn't get in because I had a t-shirt on. No biggie. Went to Tommy's for a few beers and then met up with the girls again at Billies. So we're all talking, drinking and having a good time. Later on in the night I notice some older, white-haired gentleman stumbling around the bar. He bumped into me once or twice, but I didn't really care. He was old and drunk. I should be so lucky if I can do that at his age.

I see him go over to my friends fiance, and she just wasn't having it. Her immediate response was to turn around in her chair very slowly. He didn't get the point. I walk over and get in between them and tell the guy that she's my friends fiance and he should leave her alone. Before he even had a chance to respond, a hand comes streaking passed the left side of my face and grabs the mans throat. It was my friend. He throws this guy right into the corner of the bar and against the front window. I thought they were both going right through! I couldn't even move because I was both shocked and, well, let's face it, I thought it was funny as shit.

Within seconds two bouncers pounce on 'em and a bartender hops over the bar to join the fray. Men yelling. Girls screaming. I didn't spill any of my beer. The old man got thrown out, and they decided to let my friend stay when we told them what exactly happened and they sympathized with him. I think that's the first time in history that bouncers DIDN'T throw someone out for chokeslamming someone in a bar. Awesome! The old guy got stopped by some cops and was hauled away. Drunk in public, I guess. So that's really it. Drove my friend and his fiance home, only to find out they left the house keys in the truck. Went back down, got the keys and then dropped them off. Again.

So that's about it. Nothing much else happened. Worked most of the weekend. It was too cold out to do anything, so no golf. Nothing new on the house front, either. I did replay a little Heavenly Sword (they really need to add some TROPHY SUPPORT!) when I had some down time. I also did those two wallpapers I posted about, below. Ahh... looks like another busy week ahead and you know what? It's all good!

Stay Awesome!

- S

Too tired to post

Kinda. Went out last night. Shenanigans ensued. You know the drill. I'll post about it, later. For now, enjoy a couple wallpapers I did while trying to get through a mental block.

Red Version:
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1680x1050

Blue Version:
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1680x1050

I am sofa king slow in the morning

For real! I normally wake up [read: stumble out of bed in a zombie-like fashion] at 7:03 (don't ask), when my alarm clock goes off. I strategically place it far away from my bed and set it to WBLI which plays the most annoying pop music and whose am dj's include one incredibly flamboyant gay man who insists on screaming everything he says. There's no way I can sleep through that, so I'm forced to get out of bed and turn that garbage off. For some reason, though, everything I do after that just takes so much goddamn time! By the time I'm done in the bathroom, it's after 7:30! WTF?!? By the time I'm dressed, bags packed, meds taken, cologne sprayed, it's almost 8am. At least traffic isn't always that bad so, fortunately, I'm rarely late to work. There seems to be this odd window where if I'm on the road between 7:50-7:55 I'll just make it to work at 8:30. If I'm on the road between 8:00-8:05, I'll get to work earlier. Que?

Don't call me during a rush song

People tend to call me while I'm driving and, as much as I hate actually answering the phone, I especially hate it when a RUSH song comes on. There's just some music you do not interrupt. Now, I'm no die-hard RUSH fan, but there are a few of their songs I really like and if I can't hear 'em straight through, I get pissed. So if you call me and I happen to sound angry, don't complain. Just be fucking grateful I put aside my good mood brought on by a RUSH song to take your stupid call.

I guess I'm in a pissy mood because I still feel like crap from whatever hit me Sunday night and needed to bitch about something. After I worked-out last night I weighed myself and it looks like I've dropped 3 pounds since last week. How much of that was lost during my recent bout with whatever caused me to release everything in my body that wasn't attached by sinew, through my ass? I don't know. But let's keep that going because I could stand to lose a few more. At least my energy is still up. Gonna need it because work is being a pain, lately. Still busy and more coming down the pipe. I know I shouldn't complain because more work = keeping my job. Everyone around here is a little on edge since April is upon us and there's always the chance for cuts. Keeping my fingers crossed.

I did read some interesting news about Warner Bros. trying to acquire the movie rights to the uber-popular manga, BLEACH! For those who don't know, head on over to Wikipedia to get a nice synopsis about the series. Now, if you're a fan, like me, but also a skeptical, pessimistic fuck, you would love to see this movie yet dread the unescapable fact that it'll be crap. Remember Dragonball? Yeah. Of course, you do. There's just something lost in the translation and studios, for whatever fucking reason, always think it's better to change the fucking story around to 'better suit newcomers'. FUCK NEWCOMERS! Don't these wrinkled dog sphincters realize that if you please the real fans that it gives the work credit and these highly-praised newcomers will give it a shot and be less apprehensive? I would rather they went ahead with the much discussed AKIRA movie, but BLEACH is super popular across different media (games, manga, anime, etc.) right now and would be a great IP to bring to the screen. Keeping my fingers crossed, but on my other hand. Shit. It's getting tough to type.

What a weekend!

Oh, man. Where do I begin? It's been a couple days so my thoughts are a little scrambled. Gonna need to really focus, here. Hmmm... Uh... Guess I should start from the beginning, eh?

Had some drinks Friday night with my buddy and his girlfriend. What a time that turned out to be. Silly of me to think I could go for just a drink and leave after an hour considering my friend and I had to be up early for the first golf round of the season. Yeah, um, 4 mojitos and 3 hours later... lol. You know it's a good time when a conversation about the upcoming movie PREDATORS leads to screaming in random peoples' faces because you think you're an actual Predator! It wasn't me doing it, either. Needless to say, My buddy was not in good shape the next morning. It's all good, though. You gotta cut loose sometimes. We both had some things to celebrate and we were so damn excited to play the next day.

So we had our round the next morning at Indian Island. As hungover as we were, it was hard to not be happy. It wasn't crowded. The weather was PERFECT. Just couldn't ask for a better time even when I played chicken with an errand shot. My buddy shanked it right at me and I didn't even move. I'd say the ball came within a foot of my head and I just watched it sail bye. It was awesome! So, obviously, we had our miss-hits, sure, but just laughed everything off and relaxed. I played much better than I expected to, and finished with an 89. I could've used a few do-overs on the back 9 - that stupid 4-putt on the last par 3 really pissed me off - but what're you gonna do? Had some great drives which I was very happy about. I think I was averaging around 280 on the good ones and my iron-play was pretty good. My putting needs work, but that comes with time.

Ended up leaving and, with the weather as good as it was, I just couldn't stay in. Luckily, my friend hit me up to go do lunch and I suggested we go down Port. She came over and we drove down and it was a MADHOUSE! It was expected, but no biggie. We had food and drinks at Tequilla Jack's. Yes, I returned to the scene of the crime. A few other people met up with us and it was just a lot of fun. Place was empty so we had the bar to ourselves for a few hours. Later on we all started walking around and venturing off to different spots. Eventually, everyone left so we decided to have dinner at Pace's. Not even sure how long we were there for, but we had a good conversation, paired along with good food and wine - you can't beat it. Oh, and someone more drunk than i was started playing 'Home Sweet Home' on a piano, so, naturally, I had to start singing. It got a few laughs so it's all good.

I woke up Sunday morning feeling like I didn't even sleep, which, to me, is worse than a hangover. I was just stumbling around all morning. I tried driving around, but couldn't shake it off. So, I did what turned out to be a bad move and go grocery shopping. I think I must've forgotten about a dozen items I needed, because I was concentrating more on not crashing into the stacks of crap at the end of every aisle. I think I even growled at someone. Not sure.

Came back home and - this is how out of it I was - my aunt and uncle were there helping my parents butcher a pig (I'm Portuguese, remember?) and when I asked 'em when they got there they said they were there all morning! We had some grilled pork cutlets which were amazing as usual. If you've never had them cut straight from the animal, you can't understand how good it actually is! Tried passing out afterwards but just couldn't sleep. I lumbered off to go check out a few more houses and, again, they were all crap. All except the last one. Really nice home built in 2005, but it ended up having a whole story behind it. Seems like a good deal considering it's new, but it has a small backyard (house is set far back because an old one was knocked-down in order to build this one) and it's actually a short sale. It wasn't stated on the listing because it's a different type of short sale, according to the owner, and wouldn't take the usual 6 months to a year process to get a deal through. Gonna have to mull that one over. Still waiting on the other one I put an offer on. This one I just saw is nice, but the other has better property and less taxes. Guess the waiting continues.

Got home and I reheated the leftovers from Pace's and watched Ninja Assassin, which I rented off PSN (love it!). What a good fucking movie! Sure, the story is predictable and nothing you haven't seen before: Ninja is betrayed. Ninja vows revenge. Girl gets involved. Blood. Blood. Blood. But you know what I say? Fuck it! It's a movie about ninjas!!!! They did some really cool things and I loved how the ninjas came off as a little more supernatural than I expected. Come on. Blurry objects moving from shadow to shadow? Awesome! You wouldn't even think that the main character Raizo is played by Rain; a KOREAN POP-STAR! Yes, he was THAT good and you can respect how much effort he put into the role.

Later that night, around 1am, I woke up with the worst stomach pains I've ever had. I was in the fucking bathroom shitting my brains out and trying not to vomit - I was not letting go of the leftovers! I really hope that's not what did it, but you never know. All I know is that I was in a lot of pain and I'm still not feeling well. I've actually gone to the bathroom twice while writing this lengthy-ass post. I think I have to go, again. Yep. Here I go...

Pull me under... Pull me under... Pull me under i'm not afraid

Got my motherfuckin' Dream Theater tickets, this morning! I still can't believe that in their 25 years as a band this will be the first time they've played the Garden!!! This is going to be something special. I cannot wait. Oh, and I get to see a little band named Iron Maiden, too. :-)

Another bit of good news - No fucking jury duty for me! WOOOOOOOOO!!!! [humping the air] Can you feel it? Huh? Huh? Lucked-out this week and checked today for next week and it turns out I'm not needed. The message said "Fuck off! We don't need yo' ass!" Should be good for the next 6 years. Screw civic duty. I got shit to do, man!

Hmm...that's really all I got. Oh, there's a new PREDATORS trailer out! I am now officially excited for this movie. Not as much as I am for KICK-ASS or SCOTT PILGRIM VS. THE WORLD, but excited nonetheless.

Check out the new PREDATORS trailer HERE!

"Don't touch my balls!"

That's something I yell a lot while on the golf course. It's one of the few places I can yell that without causing too much of a scene. That and "Don't bend my shaft!". That one's good for turning a few heads. It looks like this Saturday I can finally begin the 2010 golf season! Woo-hoo! One of the few things I get to enjoy AWAY from a fucking desk is golf. Say what you will, but it's so much fun to play. Plus, you can relax at the same time - unless you're me and find you curse more than you actually breathe!

I honestly like being on the course more than playing. There's just something about spending 4 hours outdoors, surrounded by wonderfully landscaped, natural (somewhat) beauty. It really is nice to just be out there whacking balls in a totally non-gay way. I've been playing for something like 13 years, on and off. I'm not nearly as good as I should be, but I've been improving quite a bit over the last couple seasons. My biggest thing is I need to learn to calm down more. I have a tendency to let my temper get the best of me. Needless to say, a few clubs have suffered the consequences of me going berserk. But I'm getting better at that, too. I think I only broke one club last year. That's a 400% drop from the previous year!

It'll be good to get back out there and hopefully it'll help get my mind on something other than work and all the house bullshit. Hell, I may even hit someone! That's one thing I've never done; hit someone with a shot - intentionally or otherwise. Believe me, it's not like I haven;t tried. However, I have been hit once. It was on a bounce so it wasn't bad, but I still buried the fucker's ball in the ground. I've had shots come at me, requiring Matrix-like maneuvers to avoid getting knocked out, but that's it. Hope I didn't just jinx myself.

F-U! No, F-U!

Ah, yes. The joys of negotiating. I put in my offer and soon after, the sellers put in their counteroffer. Naturally, I countered back like a good jouster and they decided they were at their bottom line. I decided they were fucksticks and said no. SI'm still leaving my offer on the table and letting them sweat. Gonna wait and see what happens. Hopefully, someone doesn't come in with a better offer, but, if they do, no biggie. If they want it more than I do, then so be it.

Just seems a little odd they'd come down so far in 2.5 months of being on the market and then drop a good chunk as a counter. I'm guessing that, based on the lack of updates, the house was occupied by an older couple and they either passed away or something and now the kids are trying to get rid of the house. That's my guess. That, or, they were overzealous on their initial asking price and figured they knew what they could get in the end anyway and tried to make the buyer feel like they got a good deal in the end. Who knows. I'm in no rush. They could swallow potatoes with their assholes for all I care.

In other news... Moving along on the new project. Good clients just make it easier. Heck, I've already learned a few things from the subject matter that I may even use after I by a home. Gonna be starting on comps pretty soon. Should be fun and it'll get my mind off of things. Well, time for Family Guy.

Stay awesome, Joben!

And so it begins...

Before I get onto the main topic I want to discuss, I just want to say that NO I did not pick up God of War 3, yet. Bummer, I know. I have a good excuse, though. You see, I have some new freelance work to do! Yay! One thing I can definitely set aside gaming for is a new project(s). Not gonna get too detailed about it, but it's a company involved in construction, so it's an industry I'm fairly familiar with (I am Portuguese, after all) and different than anything else I've done web work for. Should be interesting.

Ok, now, onto the topic at hand. Today, I will put an offer in on one of the houses I saw. Yes. Finally. The REAL fun begins! Needless to say, there are a lot of questions born of my pessimistic and cynical mind. Will they accept? Will they negotiate? Will they flip me the bird and laugh? Who's Harry Crumb? The one thing I have to keep in mind is if it doesn't go through, it ain't the end of the world. Just move on to the next lead. Not like it hasn't happened before. I've come across one or two that I liked, only to hear the day before a showing that it's off the market or some bullshit. People have been pushing me to rush because of the $8k tax rebate, but I say fuck you and let me worry about the house itself so I don't get screwed over because I was more worried about the rebate than the actual house, itself. I'd rather lose free money than get fucked for a shitload of money on the main deal.

Of course, there are other issues to consider, like if I'll still have a job after April, which is when our fiscal year ends/begins and when the cuts usually occur. I'd like to think I'll be ok, based on the work I do and it's value to the company. Very, very few people here do as much as I do and pretty much no one can even DO what I do. They need to go to overpriced agencies that don't even return the quality I generally provide (insert horn here). So, all that considered, should I be afraid? Hell yes! Of course I should be. You just never know what goes on behind the scenes. Now, I'd like to think that if I lost my job in the next month that I'd be able to find something within a few months. That I honestly don't doubt. However, what if that happens and I have to carry a mortgage, property taxes, bills, and my 10 illegitimate children? Ok, that last one isn't true, but that's a scary prospect.

I know it's happened to plenty of people and continues to happen. I'm pretty smart with my cash, so I plan on having quite a lot in the bank to support myself if need be. Maybe I'm just looking way to deep into this. Maybe I'm letting my pessimism get the best of me. Maybe its good. It'll keep me on my toes and keep me prepared. It hasn't failed me, yet. Maybe I just shouldn't worry anymore and just fucking do it.

Yeah. Just fucking do it...and be awesome!

Oh, I almost forgot! Happy St. Patrick's Day!

Fuck you, pothole!

I seriously hate potholes. I hate them with a passion. I hate 'em even more now thanks to the Geico(?) commercial with the talking pothole that's poorly voiced and sounds like some redneck hooker on a Monday morning. Uhg. Everytime I see one that's all I think about. Last night, the bitch got me! I have no idea how I didn't see it, but at around 8 o'clock, getting off at exit 62 on the LIE I hit this pothole so fucking hard I was picking suede from my asshole when I got home. This thing could not have been that big since I wasn't able to spot it, but from how hard I hit it, it must've been deeper than Star Jones's bowel. Fortunately, there was no damage to the wheel or tire, well, not that I could see, anyway. The wheel didn't fall off on the way in, this morning, so I guess so far, so good. Can't get the same sound out of my head, though. Just so painful to hear.

On a side note... God of War 3 comes out, today! I can't play because I have work to do! Yay! What? No! No 'Yay'. Are you crazy? That sucks! Grrr... Gonna have to wait until the weekend, I suppose. I fucking hate being responsible.

Vaporize me, bitch!

Have I mentioned how much I love vapor patches? Thanks to spending more time than I would have like this passed weekend in the monsoon that just passed over Long Island, I'm a bit congested. I keep these vapor patches at work so when I feel like this, I just stick one under my desk and I get instant relief from the snotty, mucous mess clogging up my nose/throat/lungs. Plus, since it's under the desk, just above my crotch, I get the added benefit of cool balls! Awesome.

Still stuffed

After some house hunting on Sunday, my dad and I had lunch at Luso in Smithtown. Now, I know what you're gonna say. "Serge! You went to a Brazilian Barbeque joint when you know you gave up red meat for Lent?!?"

I know, I know. My intention was to only have chicken, but I just can't be in there without gorging on wonderful, life-giving, all-you-can-eat, rotisserie meats! First piece I had was beef and my first taste of it in almost a month. Let me tell you, I almost fell out of my chair. There's just something about the way they cook everything, there. I ate more than my dad, for once and I'm STILL stuffed! I even skipped breakfast this morning. And don't even get me started on the pitcher of Sangria I downed. Ok, enough of this. I'm starting to get really fucking hungry, now. Let's move on...

So, yeah, I mentioned I went house hunting, again, right? I saw 4 houses total. 2 were crap and 2 I really liked. I'm kind of torn, now, because one is move-in condition and really well kept (gotta love old people) and the other is basically a blank slate and also in good condition, but needs updates. What to do... what to do... The second one needs a new driveway, new front siding (it's shit brown right now - no thanks), different paint color inside, some trim, and landscaping. The other one, with the old couple, just needs some color changes (no fucking way do I want purple, teal and pink bedrooms!) but that's it. I can't stop thinking about the potantial of the vacant house, though. I think putting updates into it will lead to a far greater value down the road. This is the first time in 4 months of searching that I've actually LIKED what I saw, not just for what's there, but what could be there. Oh, and di I mention it's cheaper and close to a driving range? You know I gotta make sure my priorities are in order. ;-)

Golf, Zombies and Lamborghinis

Come on. Be honest. You can't tell me that title didn't get your attention, huh? So, I went with a buddy of mine to check out the Long Island Golf Expo, today. On the way out there I got to see this little, yellow beauty on the road:



That right there is a Lamborghini Gallardo Superlegra. I believe that's Italian for "I cost more money than you'll ever make". Sigh...

So we get to the expo and, I gotta tell ya, I was a little disappointed. I was expecting something along the lines of other conventions/expos I've been to, but this turned out to be pretty boring. The only cool thing I saw was the Para-Golfer. Basically, it's a special wheelchair-like gizmo that lets someone without the use of their lower body be able to play golf. Pretty neat. I also got a quick video analysis of my swing. I need work. Apparently, I lean too much to the left, keep my arms too close to my body and swing too low, but my finish is strong. Funny, I never knew my golf swing was just like how I fuck. Go figure.

Ended up leaving after that and took a trip to Best Buy or, as I like to call it, Mecca. Checked-out some surround sound setups, PS3 stuff, and movies. Decided I've been renting long enough and needed to pick-up some Blu-Rays I've missed out on. I got 9 and Zombieland. I can't believe I waited to long to see them (let it be known that I only recently saw Avatar). Haven't seen 9 yet, but Zombieland was amazing! A helluva lot funnier than I expected. And that cameo from BM (not gonna spoil it) was brilliant!

Ok, it's late, the wings are kicking up, and it's way too shitty outside to bother going anywhere. Time for [adultswim]. Where's the Mylanta?

House-hunting...and blenders?!?

As some of you know, I've been house-hunting for a few months, now. I always knew that purchasing a home would be a stressful experience, but I never thought it would be so much so that it would permeate my dreams in such a weird way. Last night, I had this dream that I was driving around looking for some house that was near where I live now. I found the block and as I drove around, I noticed that not only were all of the houses dilapidated to shyte, but they all had old, out-of-commission, over-sized blenders on their front lawns. Some more than others. Oddly enough, this didn't bother me during the dream, but it annoyed the shit out of me when I woke up, this morning.

"Why the hell were there so many blenders?" I thought to myself. As far as I know, I never had any encounters with 'em. A blender never punched me in the face and stole my lunch money. I never had the following conversation with a blender:

Me: "Hey, blender. What's up?"
Blender: "Fuck you, dickbag!"

I started to think way too hard on the subject and then it hit me. Could it be that maybe my problem lies with the fact that blenders are secretly the assholes of the appliances world? Sounds weird, applying a negative personality to an inanimate object like a blender, but, think about it. You take a perfectly formed natural object like an Apple or a Carrot or a kitten, offer it to the blender, and what does it do? It turns it to mushy shit! Come on, now. What kind of way is that to treat a gift? What an ungrateful asshole you are, blender.

While you ponder that thought, I'm gonna finish my Earl Grey tea. First time I've ever had this. It's not bad. It's like drinking a cup of ammonia and knowing it WON'T kill me. I feel so reckless.

Stay awesome,

S

You know what's not awesome?

My dog Ozzy when he craps in my room. Seriously, I think he saves the good ones for me. Shit is huge! The best way to understand the sheer magnitude of these monsters coming out of this little Maltese is to picture yourself crapping out a fully-inflated football WITH placeholder! I thought what I saw was a cigar on the floor and almost left it. I did a double-take and when I realized what it was I was like "Did I get drunk, last night?" I should've taken a picture. I'll have to draw something up to scale later on. He had a habit of leaving 'em under my bed, but I guess he feels like it's not as dramatic if I don't see 'em right away? Eh... at least they don't smell or stain the carpet.

Update - Photographic evidence found!

ipad now available for pre-order

Looks like the Apple iPad is now available for pre-order. I told myself I was going to wait a generation, but, man is it getting tough! This thing, the more I think about it, is just so damn appealing (of course, it's an APPLE PRODUCT!). This would definitely get me back into reading actual literature without clogging up the precious little space I have left in my room.

Order one and help my stock go up!

Difficulty Level: 3.5

Wiping your ass and pissing at the same time. Why the hell is that so difficult????

Health Sucks!

Another day, another doctor appointment. This crap is getting old real fast. Maybe, just maybe, they'll find out what's the continued cause of all my issues. Wait, I just realized, you have no idea what I'm talking about? Allow me to fill you in - I'll try to keep it quick.

It started in July '08. I had a respiratory infection that turned out to be a Pleural Effusion (sp?). Basically, I had fluid in between the two layers of tissues in my left lung. Took Avelox for a week. Didn't work. Then I was given Levaquin and Predinisone. FUCKED ME UP! I couldn't sleep for a week. I had the craziest heart palpitations (always starting at exactly 11pm - weird, right?). Thoughts of suicide. I was just a friggin' wreck. As soon as I was off of that stuff, I started to feel better. However, within a couple weeks it happened again. Not the lung part, but the heart issues. Scared the hell out of me, as can be expected. I went to a Cardiologist and he found no problems whatsoever, so that was a HUGE weight off my shoulders. Well, it didn't last long. Had another episode not long after.

I then started seeing a Gastroenterologist (I'll just refer to him as Gas-Man from here on out) because I had also developed really bad GERD (acid reflux disease). He put me on Nexium (WONDERDRRUUGG!!!!) and scheduled an Upper Endoscopy. Let me just say that it was the first time I was ever put under for anything and it was wonderful!

He didn't spot anything, thankfully. Again, another weight off my shoulders. So now it was like, what the hell could be wrong? I still had some episodes every now and again, but nothing major. Fast forward to April '09 and I had a really bad episode. Went to the hospital and had an ultrasound on my abdomen. They found polyps on my Gall Bladder which could be causing some pain, but not the other issues. So, once again, what the fuck is going on???

A couple days after, my sister, who works for a pharmaceutical company, told me about a conversation she had with a doctor. She told him what I was going through and he mentioned he had the same thing happen to him recently. He found out it was a reaction to MSG because he NEVER eats anything with it and had a dish at a restaurant he hadn't had before and, well, he got more than he wanted. But MSG!?! The wonderful flavor additive in Chinese food - my favorite cuisine after Portuguese food!?! No way! I love that stuff! Well, folks, I happened to have been eating Chinese food that weekend in April that I hadn't had in some time, and when I looked back at all the other episodes I had... yeah you know where this is going. Not only had I been eating a ton of Chinese food, but also the other foods I was eating had plenty of MSG in them. So, I started cutting it out and from April '09 until October '09 I was problem-free!

However, that isn't to say I haven't had issues. I still have very minor episodes, but it turns out that it can be either MSG or bad gas. I've adjusted my diet accordingly and it's helped quite a bit. Unfortunately, there are still other issues I gotta take care of, but things are looking up. One by one, House-style, we're getting things in order and patching me up.

Update:

The latest results from recent CT Scans show that I'm still here and still awesome!

Welcome to me!

Alright. Well. I'm finally a part of the blogosphere. Where the Hell's all the cake? This is somewhat disappointing.

Anywho...

So, here be my blog. Like all the millions of other people who have one, this is just a place for my bullshit. Really. Just bullshit. Sorry if you were hoping for some tips on how to actually be awesome at life. Ya know. Come to think of it. There may just be a few tidbits that may help you on the path to awesomality, but I assure you they'll be few and far between. Best you hit up Tony Robbin's blog or something. Does he even have one? If he did, could he type it himself? Those banana hands of his would require a custom keyboard. One much greater than the size of what I'm using right now. I'm actually afraid to see what his fingers would do to my lovely Macbook Pro's keyboard!

Ok, enough of that. Let's get this bitch going already! Um...

Crap! I forgot what I was gonna say. To be continued...