"Don't touch my balls!"

That's something I yell a lot while on the golf course. It's one of the few places I can yell that without causing too much of a scene. That and "Don't bend my shaft!". That one's good for turning a few heads. It looks like this Saturday I can finally begin the 2010 golf season! Woo-hoo! One of the few things I get to enjoy AWAY from a fucking desk is golf. Say what you will, but it's so much fun to play. Plus, you can relax at the same time - unless you're me and find you curse more than you actually breathe!

I honestly like being on the course more than playing. There's just something about spending 4 hours outdoors, surrounded by wonderfully landscaped, natural (somewhat) beauty. It really is nice to just be out there whacking balls in a totally non-gay way. I've been playing for something like 13 years, on and off. I'm not nearly as good as I should be, but I've been improving quite a bit over the last couple seasons. My biggest thing is I need to learn to calm down more. I have a tendency to let my temper get the best of me. Needless to say, a few clubs have suffered the consequences of me going berserk. But I'm getting better at that, too. I think I only broke one club last year. That's a 400% drop from the previous year!

It'll be good to get back out there and hopefully it'll help get my mind on something other than work and all the house bullshit. Hell, I may even hit someone! That's one thing I've never done; hit someone with a shot - intentionally or otherwise. Believe me, it's not like I haven;t tried. However, I have been hit once. It was on a bounce so it wasn't bad, but I still buried the fucker's ball in the ground. I've had shots come at me, requiring Matrix-like maneuvers to avoid getting knocked out, but that's it. Hope I didn't just jinx myself.