Sorry. All I got is this...

d:-)

Stoopid allergies!

Woke up yesterday morning with red eyes, sore throat and a stuffed-up nose. That's what I get for actually thinking I was gonna be the only one not fucked by the pollen. Stupid me, right? Needless to say, I didn't go to work. I just knew I'd sit there at my desk and just be useless and miserable all day. Not worth it. I'd rather just sit at my desk and be useless, but happy. I did venture out for a bit to get my car washed. She looked so lovely, but this morning she was covered in a fine, yellow, dust-like coating. Some call it pollen. I call it disappointment. I knew it'd happen, but she needed to get cleaned badly. Started to look like a used-up hooker who didn't give her pimp his cut.

Too...effing...busy...

I was trying real damn hard to keep up with this blogging crap, but, everything got in the way. It would be a lot easier if this shit was tied into my brain and I could just post with a thought. Oh, future. Where art thou???

So, I made it out to the Photoshop Down & Dirty Tricks seminar at the Javits Center, last Friday. Very fun and informative. Or is informative and fun? I forgot. Either way, it was good. Dave Cross just knows how to communicate all the wonderful Photoshop goodness and I didn't fall asleep once. Honest! I didn't really learn much that I didn't already know, but I got a lot of good ideas on how to make my work process more efficient. Don't get me wrong, I'm not saying that I know EVERYTHING about Photoshop (though I have been using it for over 10 years), there were a few things I didn't know before, but, for the most part, I was getting different ways of doing things I already do. The best parts had to be where he showcased some features in the upcoming CS5 release. Let me tell you. If you use Photoshop, you have to upgrade! There are some things they've added that will save you TONS of time. I'm not gonna spend the whole time talking about 'em, but if you really want to know (and you should!) check out the features here. Looks like I'll have to borrow my friend's educational credentials very soon. d:-)

One thing I definitely learned that day is that I don't ever want to have a daily commute into the city. I took a pretty easy train schedule - 750am and 522pm - and it was still a pain in the ass. First of all, it was expensive. Cost me about $40 which, if you add that up on a weekly basis, we're talking about $200 PER WEEK! Granted, I had to buy one-ways because I fucked up in the morning not knowing that you can't buy round-trips during peak rush hour. That's a really fucking stupid rule, but, whatever. Second, it's fucking booorrriiiiinnnggggg! On the way in I tried killing time by watching Zombieland on my iPad, but I found myself skipping just because I felt so damn antsy. At least if I was driving I'd have been moving around and alert. Instead, I just wanted to jump out of the fucking train! On the way back I took a nap, which felt nice. I had a cute Asian chick sitting in front of me, but she was pregnant and that just grosses me out. I am totally incapable of finding a pregnant girl desirable. Sorry, but that's just how I am.

Ended up getting picked-up by my buddy at Wyandanch and met up with other friends at The Grill Room. Nice place. Good vibe. Good music. Good food, too! Had me a 14oz NY Strip. Ooohhh momma!!! Shit was nice and cooked perfectly. Oh, and there was a man-faced hooker there, too. Turned out to be my friend's coworker. Her actions led to some laughter at her expensive. Gotta love stupid, drunk whores - even if they do have a man-face!

Not much else happened over the weekend. Did some work n whatnot. Played golf on Sunday over at Heatherwood. Did ok on the front with a 36, but totally shit the bed on the back nine with a 45. Wait. Did I say 'shit the bed'? No, that was more like 'flaming diarrhea and acid blood from Alien mixed with the video of a puppy dying'. Yeah, that's how bad it was. I need to get to the range. Nothing felt right, even when I was playing ok.

This week is shaping up to be pretty good. My buddy got tickets for the Mets game this Wednesday BEHIND HOME PLATE!!! yeah, I'm psyched for that one! Then, on Friday, my friend is spinning at my favorite fucking restaurant, HONU. Don & Ginger's all night, baby! Wait, wasn't I supposed to be saving money, right now? Dammit. Ok. Don & Ginger's paid for by everyone else all night! d;-)

c ya when I c ya.

- S

Take my blood, but not my...blood?

Went and had a blood test done, this morning. Yes. ANOTHER ONE. I actually put this one on hold for some time. Just been too gosh darn busy, lately. That, and, getting up at 6am sucks moose balls. Nothing eventful. No needles broke, sending streams of pulsating, red, viscous liquid everywhere. Though, I think a little kid crapped her pants. It sure smelled like it. There were a few older people in there. Maybe it was one of them. I don't really know, but I know the smell of soiled drawers, and someone sure as hell needs to take a trip to the cleaners. Wow, even when I don't talk about MY shit, someone else's shit somehow seems to sneak into a post. It's unavoidable, ladies and gentlemen. Deal with it.

I started adding the Spartacus Workout to my weekly health routine. Lemme just tell you that I had trouble just trying to get off the friggin' toilet bowl a day after the first routine. Sonofabitch, it's tough! If you don't know what it is, check it out here. It's a circuit of 10 exercises, each done for a minute. Being the pansy that I am, I'm just gonna ease it into my workouts and do one set instead of 3. I'll work my way up to that (I don't wanna vomit on the gym floor just yet). If the pain is any indication of success, this thing is a winner! Guess I'm just not used to these types of routines, yet. I've always just been more of a basic workout kinda guy. You know; lift this, lift that. I got a good feeling that this will help fill in the gap that's kept me from really progressing. Not that I'm looking to show up to work with no shirt on or anything, but to at least look in the mirror and actually NOTICE a difference, which in turn would mean I'm getting healthier as well.

Speaking of health... Can I just say that these last two months are the best I've felt in the last 2 YEARS! I'm knocking on every piece of wood I can, believe me. Seriously, I think Lent had a big part of it. That's both good and bad. Good because I have a better idea of what I should keep my diet as, but bad because no man should ever look at red meat and say "FUCK YOU!". It's just not right. Can you believe that I got mad that I saw red meat on my dinner plate last night? What the fuck is wrong with this picture? This is gonna take some getting used to.

Oh, almost forgot. Tomorrow I'll get to not only experience commuting into NYC during rush hour, but I'll get to put the iPad to some use outside of the confines of my room. I'm going to the Javits Center for a Photoshop seminar which should be very cool. I'm hoping that Mr. David Cross decides to give us a treat and show off some CS5 wonderment! That would make it sssoooooo fucking worth the travel. Can you believe my boss actually WANTS me to go to these things? I love my job. Sometimes. Not sure if I'll be hanging out there afterwards or if I'm coming straight home. Who knows. Might as well play it by ear. Hey, maybe I'll do a Apple store tour? I actually haven't been to a single one in the city. Yes, that's right. Not a single one! Another thing on the list I need to do. Fucking thing just doesn't get any shorter.

Stay awesome or stay down, fuckers!

- S

Oh, Rangers. How you suck!

Dammit. Dammit. DAMMIT! C'mon, Torts! WTF were you thinking??? How could you not use your top guys in the shootout? What a fucking jackass. Seriously. I knew the outcome of the game before it even started. That pregame interview with Sam totally gave it away. When he started talking about how loose and calm the team was, that told me that they were going to get shit on by the Flyers who were feeling the pressure. How could anyone go into that game and NOT be pressured? Uhg... Well, whatever. With the Rangers out of the playoff picture, I have no reason to watch any hockey until September. Time to focus on golf. Speaking of which...


Go, PHIL!!! What a great final round of The Masters. Phil stormed back and took advantage of Westwood's mistakes. And how about Tiger? He was in the woods more than I am! Still, 4th place ain't bad, even if he WAS bitching about it. Grow up, douchebag. You can't win 'em all, ya know? Just be grateful you can still play and that the fans are still behind you. Personally, I don't care if he wins or not. I acknowledge his skill and what he means to golf, but I'm a Phil fan, so the more he screws up and gives Phil the chances he needs to jump ahead then that's good enough for me!

"It's part of business."

Ever heard that one, before? I'm sure you have. It's almost always heard during shitty times, like, you know, when layoffs happen? Yeah, that happened this week. The company I work for decided that, as part of their business strategy, they were going to use the typical cost-cutting bullshit method of reducing headcount. Quite a few people globally started being let-go and my group didn't escape the chopping block unscathed.

Sadly, some really good people who were both colleagues and friends had to go. Some of which had been with the company a decade! You really have to stop and wonder why some people are let go and others stay. Who makes the decisions and what are they based on? I can tell you it didn't have anything to do with how hard a person worked, their time with the company or their skills. If that were the case, then things would have been completely fucking different. Just ONE of the people who got let go could do the jobs of 2 or more people in a certain department that somehow managed to go untouched. I could go deeper into it, but whats the point? it's not going to change anything. A leopard can't change it's spots...

It just sucks knowing how, in this economy, people are being forced out, left and right, with no chance to prepare and are handed a meager severance, a handshake and a "Good luck", spoken through a serpent's smile. Yeah, that's gonna help pay the mortgage. But, I guess it's just a art of business, right?

Damn Distractions!

Between the iPad, GOW3, Easter and work, I actually went nearly 3 days without a fucking post! Well, I got a few free minutes while I wait on some jackasses to get their shit together so, let's have at it!

I already posted enough about the iPad. Needless to say, I'm in love withe the damn thing and SketchBook Pro from Autodesk is the tits!!! I'll post some of the work I've done with it, soon. I brought the iPad into work, yesterday, and it got plenty of 'ooohs' and 'aaahs'. I bet there'll be a few more purchases on the way. One thing that having it in the office really showed me was how bad I need a case for it. Not so much for holding it, but for traveling with it. The thought of my naked iPad bouncing around inside my computer bag, totally exposed, really unnerved me. That'll be remedied later today with a quick run to the Apple store.

Ok, enough iLove. Onto GOW3. Wow. Um. Yeah, just wow! 3 years of waiting (and an extra couple weeks) was well worth it! What an incredible game. The look. The sound. The carnage! Oh, the carnage!!! I haven't played a game in quite a while that satisfied my subconscious, violent urges as GOW3 did. All of the classic features were intact: chain blades, quicktime kills, sex mini games...you name it. It's all there, only better. My favorite update (besides the obvious graphical overhaul) has to be with the quicktime events. One thing that always bothered me about these is that they tend to obscure what's actually happening on screen. I don't want to miss the action because I have to pay so close attention to the commands (I'm looking at you, Heavenly Sword!). The GOW team came up with a subtle, yet very effective solution to this. Instead of putting the buttons mid-screen, they use the sides of the screens (top, right, bottom, left) and use the corresponding buttons of the control pads placement. In other words, X=bottom so it only shows up on the bottom of the screen. That way, you can look directly at the action and respond to peripheral commands. Simple, yet GENIUS! Why didn't anyone think of that before?

There's an amazingly simple, yet poignant and artsy event that takes place just before you unmercifully rip Helios' head off, and happened to be left off of the demo which made it a wonderful surprise. I don't want to spoil it, but it involves blocking a light with your hand. It's actually a pretty beautiful scene, but, unfortunately, there aren't too many scenarios like this in the game. However, this is a game filled with violence and based on a violent story, so, it's understandable. The boss battles are very cool, and there are some surprises, especially when you realize who the voice actors are. Very slick, Sig!

If I had any real issues with the game, it had to do with the end. It kind of goes off in an odd direction and almost feels like it starts to overstay its welcome, a bit. Again, I don't want to spoil anything, but it involves a lot of 'wandering in darkness'. Even the very last scene kind of just 'happens' and it's somewhat abrupt. Maybe that's just me being a big fan of the series not wanting to see actual end, ya know? I will say that it is fitting and, for the most part, satisfying. I kind of want to go back in and play just to bash the shit out of people with the Nemean Cestus! I just can't stop saying, in a Russian accent, "I must break you!" before each skirmish. Good, guilty fun. Get this game. It's worth it!

Uhg, what else is there? Oh, Easter. Gotta talk about Easter. Well, actually, I don't have to since not much happened. Had lunch with the family at the Portuguese Clube. Food, wine and laughs. That's pretty much business as usual at one of those gatherings. Oddly enough, being that Lent ended, I actually didn't touch red meat, chocolate or ice cream! Imagine that? Me, free of the shackles that held me back for over a month, and I didn't even SEEK OUT the treasures I so deserved! Maybe that's a good thing. I did lose 7lbs, which I intend to keep off. Guess I gotta stay on the wagon as long as I can.

You stay awesome, intarWebbz!

- S

I'm so weak, but happy!

Before you say anything, fuck off! I got my iPad and that's that. I ended up going to Best Buy this morning just to see the crowd. There wasn't one. Well, not a HUGE one anyway. That's expected being that the BB push isn't really until the 11th, but stores that have the Apple section in them have a certain amount each for today. I walked straight towards that section and there were already a couple people checking 'em out. As soon as I picked one up I instantly fell in love. It really is something you need to hold in your hands and look upon in person to really understand how beautiful this thing is. I made my decision then and there that I wasn't leaving the store without one. I didn't wanna bother with the lines at the actual Apple store at Smithaven.

I headed over to the 8-person-deep line by the Geek Squad department - Who else would you have securing this product? Hah! - and waited a couple minutes. I held back from interjecting into a conversation two mouth-breathers were having about Macs in their total combined 6 years of experience with them. I figured it wasn't worth it. I just wanted my damn iPad and stick it down my pants tout suite! Got to the counter, had a chat with the clerk who apparently really wanted one, but was sure they'd sell out before he could get a chance to purchase one. After feigning sympathy, and completing the transaction, I decided that I should pick up GOW3 while I was there. Fuck it, right? Why not?

After walking out of the store, iPad in hand, I noticed the sun was shining brighter and the air smelled of sweet purity like I've never known. Was it the iPad? I think so. That's just how magical it is! I'm sure of it! I think I even saw a couple birds give me a thumbs up. In fact, I was in such a good mood that I decided to head over to the Apple store anyway. Call it morbid curiosity. Call it me being bored. But I just had to go. Besides, I needed a new phone case. That's as good enough a reason as any, right?

Right when I walked into the Mall, near the Macy's entrance, two people were walking out, iPads in hand. I asked them how the line was and they said there wasn't one. Really? No fucking way! That's not possible. It's the iPad launch! I told them BB was the same and they showed equal surprise, though, I doubt they were cursing out my mother in their minds as badly as I was doing to theirs in mine. That's just what I do when I talk to strangers. So I made my way over and there were plenty of guides setup, but no line. However, the close I got, the louder the buzz became. You just couldn't ignore the overall feeling and sounds of amazement coming from the store.

When I got to the entrance, a lovely, nose-ring adorned employee greeted me and asked if I was looking for an iPad. I said, "No. I cheated and got one at BB. I just need an iPhone case." She kind of looked at me funny and said something, but all I wanted to do was rip the ring out of her nose. I don't hate nose-rings. I just thought she was too cute to have one, but I digress. Another employee unnecessarily spoke to me about the cases, but I just wanted to revel in the crowd; looking at the smiles and lit-up faces on everyone fondling the iPads. It was like a petting zoo, but with better animals.

I left the store and went straight home. All I wanted to do was play with this thing. Oh, I forgot to mention that I'm typing this all out on my iPad. It's not difficult to type long entries at all. Well, as long as it's not flat. That can be a pain, but placing it on your lap, on an angle, works extremely well. Some quick things I'll note:

Like
• VERY snappy. Things move and happen smoothly and quickly.
• Keyboard is easy to use. You can type in portrait mode with both thumbs ala iPhone typing.
• HD screen is gorgeous. Everything looks so crisp.
• Resists smudges. You can actually clean smudges WITH your fingers!

Dislike
• Synching seems to be slow to initialize. Quick when it actually gets started. Maybe just an iTunes issue.
• No USB. I guess that's minor, but it'd be nice to access files that way without constantly synching.
• Mail takes a while to setup. Stupid verification screen!

So, that's really it. I haven't gotten to do much with apps. Just tested some out, but haven't purchased any iPad specific ones but I did get a couple free ones (NYT is bueno). After I use this some more I'm sure I'll have more to love about it and more gripes, too. Stay tuned!

- S

The iPad Cometh

Oh, iPad. You shiny, gleaming, wonderous, polar icecap-saving, God-defining, tastes like chocolate and awesomeness, piece of technology birthed from the mating of Steve Jobs and a unicorn. How you call for my attention...and wallet.

So, we're here. The wait is over. The iPad is available for purchase. Can you feel the shift in the Earth's magnetic field? I can. It makes my weenie tingle. Now all that's left is to decide whether to buy one now or later? I'm still on the fence and that fence is pretty sharp. It's just begging me to jump off and pick a side before I get a second crack in my ass. I know what you're thinking: "Surely, you can't really expect us to believe you'd wait to buy one?" I can't deny that there's a really strong possibility that I'll be at the Smithaven Mall Apple Store tomorrow morning, waiting in line with the other drooling Apple fanboys. I was able to hold back with both iPhone launches, but there's just something about the iPad.

I can't quite put my finger on it. Maybe it has to do with the possibilities that the iPhone created and begged for? You know, like, how the only thing better than an iPhone is a BIG iPhone? I've tooled around with quite a few apps in different categories like productivity (don't laugh!), games, entertainment, etc. but, the prospect of using these on a bigger screen with the ease and intuitive touch screen interfacemeltingness just makes me wanna do a happy dance! I've been around long enough to know to stay away from first gen, but how can I do that now? It's the iPad! How much more can they change to it that can't be fixed with software? Ok. Ok. Software won't make it widescreen (maybe) or add a forward-facing camera. So what? Three generations of iPhones have gone by without similar features (and others), and we're all still here. Still complaining, too.

eBook reader. Art canvas. Game console. How can you beat it? Well, I'll tell you how. You make another one a year later, which is exactly what Apple will do. However, I am not waiting a fucking year! Either I plunk the money down on 4.1.10 or I do it on 12.1.10. What's the fucking difference? Maybe from a money perspective it's best to save a few ducets right now. Perhaps I should wait to get another side job out of the way to pay for it. Or maybe get it and it'll push me to get another side job sooner. Or maybe I should beat up a little kid and take his/hers. Uhg... decisions, decisions.

What's a guy to do? What can actually happen, in a beneficial way, if I wait? Could the price actually (gasp!) DROP? I doubt it. This is not a subsidized product like the iPhone. No one else is giving Apple money to sell this product and the parts, for the most part, are a result of everything already being miniaturized for the phones and laptops and they haven't changed all that much, price-wise. I think Apple wants to avoid another hiccup like what happened with the first iPhone. Hardware-wise, this iPad will not change for at least a year, and even then what the fuck could they really do? Actually, that's a dumb question. They could do A LOT. Never underestimate the power of Apple and it's flock of vocal sheep (myself included).

I wonder how my opinion will change when I'm molesting the shiny, glass surface of an iPad in the store. I have to at least do that before I can make a decision. Fucking hell this is going to be tough.

Stay tuned to find out what happens. WIll I or Won't I? Heh...

Oh, and Happy Easter!

- S

Crazy fuckin' dreams, I tell ya!

This whole week I've been having a lot of trouble sleeping. I'm really not sure why. Is it because there's a lot on my mind? Too much energy at night from working out? Anticipation for the return of SG:U? Who knows? One thing's for sure, in the short amount of sleep I do get, I've been having some weird ass dreams! For instance, let's take last nights winner for 'Most Fucked-Up And Unbelievably Weird Dream That Has To Be Made Into A Movie'. Some of it is a little foggy, but that may be a good thing. What I can tell you for sure is it was an amalgamation of things that happened or I saw over the last couple weeks. Very odd how it all came together.

I remember it started with me sitting at home, eating dinner with the family. My dog was running around with something in it's mouth. It was some kind of egg. I took the egg and all of a sudden we got attacked by a raptor. Yes. A fucking raptor. We ran, but, like in most dreams, I couldn't run and so I had to shoot it with a squirt gun. The raptor melted and then, in a British voice, it said, "You shouldn't do that!" That's it. That's all it said. Then, somehow, I was magically transported to Tony Stark's house. I saw him chasing around Peper Potts with one of those extendable arm thingies that old people use to reach stuff. I walked over and had some kind of conversation with them, all the while referring to them as "Rob" and "Pal". They didn't like that. I don't remember the conversation, but Hugh Jackman walked in and tore the place up.

I woke up for a few seconds and was kind of pissed, as one would be when they had a chance to watch Wolverine kill Iron Man. Anyway, I fell back asleep and I had one of the dreams I hate the most, which is being stranded in the middle of the fucking ocean. Don't ask me why, but every now and again I get a dream involving the ocean. This time it was me and my buddy Matt just standing there on a little sandbar, completely surrounded by water on all sides. I remember saying something to him about how the water was gonna rise the closer nightfall came. Just like that, a fishing boat arrived and saved us. The dream then switched to Sea World where I was playing a concert in Shamu Stadium with Dream Theater and motherfucking Sham was singing! But, when I went backstage, I saw Harland Williams squealing into a microphone. I was pissed and started yelling that Shamu was lip synching.

The dream switched again and I was surrounded by co-workers, old and new. Not sure where we were, but it was definitely at someone's house that I didn't recognize. Everyone seemed to know eachother and I couldn't understand why. I somehow ended up in the garage and in there was a silver Ferrari F430 Spyder with a bow and my name on it. I picked up the card and it read "All yours. - Steve." I'm like "Who the fuck is Steve?" As soon as I say that, out from the trunk pops up a man in a black turtleneck and Levi's 501 jeans shouting, "ME, BUG FUCKER! STEVE JOBS!"

I woke up as soon as that happened. I was pissed. Again. Steve Jobs gave me a Ferrari. Who the fuck would be happy waking up and finding out that was a dream? Uhg...